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The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that. ” If I had expected to find Rosalind spread on a chaise longue waiting for me I’d have been mistaken. It seemed she’d decided that some of the more mature people needed a break from the music and dancing and she’d set up store in the upstairs room with about twenty others. When I walked in, she stood and approached me, taking my hand and leading me to a sofa where we sat. “I don’t know about you but the noise was beginning to get to me. I love seeing young people having fun but there is such a thing as too much, no?” I agreed. She introduced me to the group, men and women. “This is our gay group, Faye. You must get a lot of unwelcome attention.” “Most attention is welcome to an actress.” She smiled. “I meant attention from men.” “I can cope. I’m sure, like me, you’ve had your share too. I find being a lesbian does, however, have a certain attraction for some men.” “It does indeed. However, the gentlemen here will be interested only in your conversation, rather than any attempt to.
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